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Saturday, July 29, 2017

MY LATEST MOST EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCE (5)

May 6, 2015
     Today marked my introduction to Cacelia, who will be cleaning my apartment the first Wednesday of every month.  Although I had set my alarm for 8:00 a.m., I either didn't hear it or continued sleeping soundly when it started buzzing.  I awoke to the electrifying touch of a gentleman from Security, letting me know Cacelia was here. This was, to put it mildly, embarrassing.  I stared at his departing back with my good eye, then hurriedly took off my pajama top (Ed used to wear only pajama bottoms; his best friend Blake Thaxter wore only tops), put on my wig, shirt, slacks, and the tinted lavender glasses that concealed, I hoped, my crossed eye.
     While my helper did her chores I sat at my computer and worked on bringing my blog posts up to date. The visitor statistics still look good, but no one has made a comment in a long time.
     I vacated my chair when Cacelia was ready to vacuum my study, then saw her to the door. When I asked about payment, she said her time was automatically charged to my Linden Ponds account.  I started to hand her a $20 bill for the trouble I had caused and she shook her head.  "We're not allowed to accept tips."
     "This isn't a tip, it's a birthday present," I said.  "When's your birthday?"
     "It was yesterday!" she smiled, accepting the gift.  What a delightful coincidence.   I told her about Naomi McBride who took good care of our condominium years ago.
     "We are still friends and write letters to each other.  "I hope -- no I know you and I will be good friends, too."
     I'll send a copy of this to Naomi.  A phone call no longer works well, even with the speaker on.  I'm serving what Philip Roth calls a Deaf Sentence, his clearly autobiographical and hilarious novel.

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